Whole men: On feelings, headwind and the divine spark...

When did you last admit a mistake? After a two-year break, I sit down with my colleague Marcus Göbeler in Konstanz’s old town. He is a teacher, a humanist and the mind behind the Instagram channel “Ganze Männer”; I teach religion. A conversation between colleagues, shortly before International Men’s Day.

Calling: a sentence from seventh grade

What gets Marcus out of bed in the morning? “A little more humanity and kindness,” he says, even if that sounds corny. He was shaped by the first book he read at school, Jakob Wassermann’s “The Gold of Caxamalca”. Its last page holds the sentence that still stays with him: “I wept over what man is and what he has failed to be.”

Faith: a humanist meets a religion teacher

Marcus grew up Protestant and sang in the church choir, but later drifted away from the church. He is bothered by the idea of humans as the crown of creation, which in his eyes paved the way for exploiting the planet. I push back: the Bible also contains the mandate to tend and keep creation. We agree on a sentence from yoga: May all beings be happy.

Beginning: why Marcus won’t keep quiet

A year and a half ago, Marcus started the channel because he no longer wanted to let what Andrew Tate or Björn Höcke spread about masculinity go unchallenged. He became a history teacher because the Nazi era never let him go, and from that grew his conviction: you must not stay silent. Without a plan, but with a teacher’s self-confidence, he got going: “I know how learning works. I’ll work my way into it.”

Whole: feelings instead of functioning

Traditional masculinity says that masculine is everything that is not feminine

“Whole men” does not mean complete or perfect men. Many men are broken, Marcus says, because they split off their emotional world and allow no vulnerability, which we need in order to feel happiness. His advice to men struggling with the image of their father: “Be a good friend to yourself.” That includes being allowed to fail.

School: teacher or activist?

Where does the teacher end and the activist begin? Marcus thinks out loud and suggests that maybe this line doesn’t exist at all. He took his oath of office on Germany’s Basic Law with conviction and wants to create spaces where people can develop their potential. Even so, he deliberately keeps the channel out of the classroom and the staff room.

Headwind: block, listen, apologise

At first, hate comments hit Marcus harder than he expected. Today he blocks insults. He engages with criticism that has substance and is willing to take something back. Before the demonstration in April, for example, women pointed out that he had only spoken of men and women and overlooked trans, non-binary and intersex people. He apologised: “I learned something. Thank you. And on we go.”

Light: the flight of the owl

Finally, Marcus recalls Marcus Aurelius: there is a divine spark in every person, and we should take care of it. In dark November, just before 9 November, that fits well. Hegel wrote that the owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of dusk. And like a seed that lies in the dark for weeks, growth needs patience too. What remains is wonder at the good in people.

From the conversation: “Being a good friend”

An excerpt from the episode, translated and lightly edited for readability.

Jan: What does being a whole man mean to you, Marcus? What would you wish for the men listening who think: yes, that’s true, my father was always like that, or I should do this and that? Do you have ideas, tips for how to get to a bit more masculinity in a good sense, that is, not being so hard on yourself?

Marcus: One tip would be to be a good friend to yourself and treat yourself more lovingly. Not always just demanding that you function, but making a connection with yourself and your inner life. The title “Whole Men” doesn’t mean being a complete man, but not being broken, being whole. And I think many broken guys are broken because they split off and suppress a very important part of their personality, namely their emotional world. Because they don’t allow vulnerability, which we need in order to feel happiness. What I call “Whole Men” is really an expanded idea of masculinity: I say that first of all I develop and unfold my human potential. I am in touch with my feelings, I perceive them, I can manage them, I take them seriously as an important source of information. I stand by my vulnerability. I make mistakes, I don’t always have to win and be successful. Sometimes I fail, too, and that is part of life. I accept that as well, deal with failure productively and look: what message is in there? What mistake did I make, and how can I learn from it?

Jan: That sounds good. I have a few more keywords on school, from our preliminary talk or from your Insta channel: “We are training boys”, eighth grade, puberty, Andrew Tate on students’ phones. And Lawrence Kohlberg with his stages of moral development, possibly outdated scientifically, I had him in my studies too. But it shows a development, a staircase you can climb or stumble down. I ask myself: where is the line between the teacher and the activist?

Marcus: Great question. I’d have to think about it longer, but I’ll try thinking out loud.

Jan: That’s exactly the point: the process more than the result. We’re practising thinking out loud, not delivering something polished and print-ready. At school there are lots of rules and boundaries. With an activist, the word “active” is right there, I imagine it freer, maybe more of a whirlwind. That at a demonstration, and you’ve been to several this year, you sometimes overshoot and then correct yourself. How should I picture that?

Marcus: If I may think out loud, I’d spontaneously say: maybe the line between teacher and activist doesn’t exist at all. Because as a humanist I am deeply convinced of our Basic Law, and twenty years ago I took my oath of office with conviction and joy. Because I truly believe that we humans are something wonderful and need the chances to develop our potential and our wonderfulness. That’s why, in everything I do, whether at school or as an activist on my private channel, I’m not pursuing a political agenda. I have a human agenda. It’s always about creating spaces, providing information, education, tips and support for how individuals can develop their human potential.

Jan: Lovely, human potential.

Date: International Men’s Day, Thursday, 19 November 2026, 5 pm, rally at the Marktstätte in Konstanz.

More from Marcus: @ganze_maenner on Instagram

Photos: Aiden Craver, Christopher Burns, Ivan Aleksic, David Tomaseti / Unsplash

Translated from German by Claude. The episode audio is in German. Read the original in German.